Is Anal Sex Painful for Beginners? Tips for Comfort

Anal sex is not typically a common form of sexual intercourse because it can easily cause injury and can be difficult to perform. Whether it's the first, second, or third time, if your partner isn't gentle and skillful, it will certainly be painful. However, why are many people still able to engage in this type of intercourse? Because they have become accustomed to it or have practiced. And once accustomed, anal sex can be very pleasurable. Below, we will discuss the things you need to do to prepare for an anal sex encounter that is painless and brings the most pleasure and excitement.

Is Anal Sex Painful?

Many people are curious about what it feels like. In one survey, 86% of women said they felt pain and fear the first time they tried anal sex. 99% reported that they do not feel pain when doing this.

Why Does Anal Sex Cause Pain?

When discussing anal sex, it's easier to understand by comparing it to the traditional experience of vaginal sex.

There are two main differences between anal and vaginal sex. First, the vagina can self-lubricate, while the anus cannot. Second, the anus has sphincter muscles that are usually tightened to prevent anything from entering, whereas the vagina is an opening designed to receive a man's penis. Additionally, the vagina is designed for sexual intercourse and arousal, while the anus is primarily for excretion.

Does Anal Sex Feel Good?

So, does anal sex feel good? The answer is yes, because this area also has many sensitive nerve endings that create stimulation for the body. The initial sensation might be a bit uncomfortable, but once accustomed, the nerve signals from the anus are similar to those from the vagina. Especially when combining stimulation of both the anus and vagina simultaneously, it can easily lead to orgasm for women. Conversely, for men, inserting the penis into the tight anus can also feel incredibly stimulating.

How to Prepare for Safe Anal Sex

Get a Health Check-up
First, get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The pain from anal sex is nothing compared to the pain and suffering of STIs. If you are sexually active, even if you use protection like condoms, it's best to get tested for STIs every 3 to 6 months. In a marital relationship, frequent testing might not be necessary, but you should still get checked once every 1 to 2 years.

Go to the Bathroom
It might sound basic, but you need to prepare well both mentally and physically before an anal sex session. Going to the bathroom helps cleanse the body, especially the anal and vaginal areas, preventing bacteria from entering and causing illness. It also gives you more peace of mind about cleanliness during anal play.

Choose the Right Lubricant
Lubrication is a crucial, arguably mandatory, part of anal play to minimize pain and increase stimulation and arousal. Remember that the anus cannot self-lubricate, so you must regularly apply lubricant to reduce friction, prevent pain, or injuries like skin tears on the penis or anal bleeding.

Self-Exploration
Before exploring with a partner, getting to know your own anus is a good idea. An anal training plan will help you get used to the sensation of something entering your anus, reduce the risk of injury, and increase pleasure. Here is a summary of some steps to follow:

• Step 1: Insert the tip of your lubricated finger into your anus. Press down gently and hold for five seconds. Then push upwards and hold for five seconds. Repeat four or five times.

• Step 2: Push your lubricated fingertip inside up to the first knuckle. You will feel a muscle contract around your finger – that's the external anal sphincter. Hold it like that for a few seconds until you feel the anal muscle start to relax.

• Step 3: Now slowly push your finger further inside your anal canal. You will feel the muscles tighten around your finger again. That's the internal sphincter. At this point, take a deep breath through your mouth for two seconds, inhaling as much air as possible. Then, slowly exhale through your nose, counting to five seconds. Repeat this five to ten times.

• Step 4: You can follow steps one, two, and three again, but this time using both your index and middle fingers together. When you reach stage three and can slide both fingers inside the anal canal, you can curl your fingertips and move your fingers back and forth to help the internal sphincter relax faster.

Once your anus is accustomed to your fingers, you can move on to a dildo, butt plug, or anal vibrating egg/toy.

Start Slowly
Even if you have had anal sex before or have done anal training, you should start slowly when inserting anything into the anus. And before actual penetration with a penis, it's advisable to use fingers or a sex toy first to help your anus adjust quickly.

If you feel discomfort or pain at any point, go back to the previous step, or add more lubricant. However, your anus likely won't become proficient with this type of play in just a few sessions, so expect it to take several weeks to months to truly experience anal sex easily.

Communicate Openly
When having anal sex with a partner, open communication is a key factor. If you are the receiving partner, ask to stop if you feel pain, or request more lubricant when needed. If you are the penetrating partner, ask your partner how they feel as you go deeper or prepare to do something specific. The pace of sex should also start slowly.

And the Admin also wants to remind you of one more important thing: Know your limits. Following the advice above will help you have anal sex that is painless and most pleasurable. Wishing you lots of enjoyment 😉